Humor quotes

Humor is defined as a positive quality or attitude that makes you laugh, smile, or humorously mirth. When used as a verb, it denotes to make light of serious things, usually with a sense of exaggeration or even trivializing them. However, when used as an everyday term, it denotes having a good sense of humor and entertainment. There are many sources for humor quotations and funny sayings, including comedians, experts in the field, and other sources found in the daily newspaper and magazines.

One of the most famous examples of a funny quote is one by Rod Serling, who was a late night host on the «Tonight Show» for several decades. His writings are some of the best examples of funny quotes and his ability to draw people in was legendary. He was known for asking smart and often surprising questions in an attempt to educate rather than entertain. Some of his famous quotes are:

«I grew up in Southern California, and we were never allowed to carry anything with us that wasn’t white. That was a problem for all of us – except for our teeth! We couldn’t afford to be without our smart mouths. So, we dug up every white item we could find, including teeth.»

Another famous quote by Stephen Colbert, who is a popular show host and comedian, is «Don’t let your ignorance lead you to believe that there’s no such thing as free lunch. In fact, I have seen it all, in the grocery stores, the libraries, and the restaurants. The free lunch is only that which you don’t ask for.» The contents of this quote clearly indicate that the speaker is trying to bring awareness to the public about the materials that they use and upon which their lives depend.

The contents of the following quote by Stephen Colbert clearly illustrate the wise approach to humor when dealing with different issues. When presenting the President of the United States, Barack Obama, as one of the bright and shiny stars, the anchors and reporters were quite amazed at how quickly President Obama was able to switch into an on-air wise man. This shows the effectiveness of Obama’s skills as a speaker, when he uses humor to cut through the seriousness of certain topics. It can also be concluded that the President is indeed a very intelligent person, using the most appropriate means of communication.

A favorite of mine of late is «The Man Who Played with Little league» by Woody Allen. Allen, who is widely respected as one of the greatest comedians of all time, uses great humor to bring light to the sad circumstances of some children of unfortunate parents. Most of the content is focused on the misbehavior of a very popular child and how the adults tried to discipline him but to no avail. When the father of the child reaches a point of exasperation and rage, he states: «The man who played Little League with me, he’s only half my size!»

Another great movie that I recently saw was «Irene.» In this movie, Zach Galifianakis plays the role of a rich recluse who moves into a remote island to escape the turmoil of modern life. Upon arriving on his isolated destination, he immediately starts to practice conversational hypnosis on a fellow tourist. Conversing with her brings him much happiness and eventually he wins her over. Within the contents of the above quote is a perfect illustration of how Zach Galifianakis can draw people with his unique sense of humor.

Now this is just a small sample of some the great humor writers. Each of these gentlemen has something unique and insightful to offer. Some of their contents are incredibly humorous and get right to the core of what makes us laugh. Others may seem a bit corny or obvious, but their humor still gets the point across in a way that anyone can relate to. It’s no wonder that these guys are consistently getting cast in movies, TV shows, commercials, and more, which is why they have so much success.

 

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

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“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

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“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

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“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous

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“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

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“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

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“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
― Steve Martin

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“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

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“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

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“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

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“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

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“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz

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“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

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“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen

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“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
― Paul Terry

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“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
― Groucho Marx

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“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

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“Saying ‘I notice you’re a nerd’ is like saying, ‘Hey, I notice that you’d rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you’d rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?’ In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even ‘lame’ is kind of lame. Saying ‘You’re lame’ is like saying ‘You walk with a limp.’ Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he’s done all right for himself.”
― John Green

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“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
― Charles Bukowski

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“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Diggers

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“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

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“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
― George Carlin

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“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
― Benjamin Franklin Wade

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I love mankind … it’s people I can’t stand!!
“I love mankind … it’s people I can’t stand!!”
― Charles M. Schulz

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“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

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“Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games
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“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

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“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
― Lewis Carroll

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“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can’t Read, Write or Add

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“Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?»
«Yes,» said Harry stiffly.
«Yes, sir.»
«There’s no need to call me «sir» Professor.»
The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

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