Phrases
01. “If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.”
02. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
03. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were an expert on everything.”
04. “It’s impressive how much you can say without uttering a single intelligent thought.”
05. “I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.”
06. “Your arrogance is as off-putting as your body odor.”
07. “I would insult you, but nature already did a fine job.”
08. “If your IQ were any lower, we’d have to water you twice a day.”
09. “I’m not insulting you; I’m describing you.”
10. “If stupidity were a crime, you’d be serving a life sentence.”
11. “You’re not the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope they don’t die.”
12. “I’m allergic to stupidity, and you’re giving me a rash.”
13. “You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.”
14. “I’d tell you to go to hell, but I don’t want to see you again.”
15. “I’m not saying you’re stupid, but you make me miss the village idiot.”
16. “You’re the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.”
17. “I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse.”
18. “I’d ask how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high.”
19. “You’re not just a clown; you’re the entire circus.”
20. “If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.”
21. “I’m not insulting you; I’m just describing the situation accurately.”
22. “You’re the human equivalent of a participation trophy.”
23. “I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons.”
24. “You have the personality of a wet mop.”
25. “Your parents must be proud that you’re their biggest disappointment.”
26. “I’d call you a tool, but even a tool serves a purpose.”
27. “You’re not just a waste of space; you’re a waste of oxygen.”
28. “You’re not the sharpest tool in the shed, but at least you’re a tool.”
29. “I’d say you’re a waste of time, but time is valuable, and you’re not.”
30. “You’re not the brightest bulb in the box, but you’re definitely the dimmest.”
31. “You’re the reason they put instructions on shampoo bottles.”
32. “I’d call you a moron, but that would be an insult to morons.”
33. “You’re like a hemorrhoid – a pain in the ass that won’t go away.”
34. “If you were any more inbred, you’d be a sandwich.”
35. “I’d tell you to go play in traffic, but I don’t want to inconvenience the cars.”
36. “You’re not just an idiot; you’re a certified dumbass.”
37. “I’d say you’re a lost cause, but that would imply you were worth finding.”
38. “You’re not just wrong; you’re impressively wrong.”
39. “You’re not the brightest crayon in the box, but you’re definitely the dullest.”
40. “I’d call you a waste of space, but even space has value.”
41. “You’re not the worst person I’ve ever met, but you’re in the top five.”
42. “You’re like a broken record – annoying and repetitive.”
43. “I’d compare you to trash, but even trash serves a purpose.”
44. “You’re like a cockroach – impossible to get rid of and nobody wants you around.”
45. “I’d tell you to get a clue, but you’d probably just lose it.”
46. “You’re not just a disappointment; you’re a walking disaster.”
47. “I’d tell you to grow a brain, but that would require a miracle.”
48. “You’re not just wrong; you’re spectacularly wrong.”
49. “I’d call you a train wreck, but at least train wrecks are interesting.”
50. “You’re like a bad smell – unpleasant and impossible to ignore.”